Increased acidity in the brain is linked to panic disorders, anxiety, and depression. It is important to remember that your metal health and your body are linked together. As we move through the 21st century I hope we keep on discovering and acknowledging that the mind and the body are inseparable. We are starting to become more aware of the negative consequences acidity to other part of our bodies so why not our mental health. Read more about this discovery.
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Children whose mother or father is affected by bipolar disorder may need to keep their stress levels in check. A new international study, led by Concordia University, suggests the stress hormone cortisol is a key player in the mood disorder. The findings published in Psychological Medicine, are the first to show children whose mother or father is affected by bipolar disorder are more easily affected by stress. When faced with normal everyday stress, their cortisol levels peak sooner.
Research has shown that children of parents with bipolar disorder are four times as likely to develop mood disorders compared to the general population. This may be due to the genetic factors associated with bipolar. Long-term activation of the stress hormone cortisol can lead to negative health consequences such as; digestive problems, heart disease, sleep issues, depression, memory loss and obesity. It is important to be aware that your child may experience everyday stress as overwhelming. Parents can help their children by helping them to learn positive strategies for coping with stress. Simple stress management strategies can include:
In case you haven’t noticed Mother’s day is this Sunday. While Sunday morning will be abuzz with kids waking up early to cook Mom breakfast, not all moms will be so fortunate to see or hear from their children.
For some, moms, Mother’s day it is a day of pain, sadness, and loss. Some Mothers have lost their children due to a miscarriage, death, divorce, estrangement or any other reason why they have lost contact with their children. To those mothers I feel your pain. It is hard to be happy on a day when you are reminded of your loss. Here are some simple ways to reach out to a grieving mother on Mother’s day is this Sunday. 1) Acknowledge that she is still a Mother 2) Acknowledge her loss 3) Talk about her child 4) Share a memory or pictures of her child 5) Don't minimize her loss 6) Ask if there is something you could do together on this day or another day to honour her and her loss 7) Encourage Self-Care To all the mothers out there whether you will see or be with your children this weekend Happy Mother's Day. Are you pushing people away from you? Do you sometimes wonder why no one wants to spend time with you? Why the lunch room clears out when you show up?
Relationships need to be nourished. Just like a garden needs water to grow. Our relationships need to be nourished with positive thoughts, words, and actions.While many people think of relationships as romantic relationships , relationships encompass parent-child relationships, sibling relationships, peer relationships or couples. The number two reason relationships fail is because there are too many anti love messages being sent and received. Too often we become critical or resentful of others. This happens when are needs are not being met and when we are unable to express what we need from others. This happens especially when the other person has stepped on our toes and hurt of feelings. At times it can be difficult to be open and honest when we fear retaliation, hostility or criticism. When we feel there is a lack of understanding, we retreat into our hurt and become silent. Then when the pain is too much to bear we may lash out at each other in pain and anger. John Gottman's research shows “lasting relationships need to have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions in order to last. His team predicted with amazing accuracy which couples would last and who would separate after listening to them interact for 15 minutes. It is difficult to risk opening up and feeling vulnerable to someone who you feel they will respond with criticism or they will discount your feelings. When we fear not being heard we retreat from the relationships. We may even avoid expressing our true needs and turn to others who are more understanding of your needs. Too many negative comments drive you away from each other and contribute to creating a negative cycle between you. Most relationships function on the same premises whether we are talking about parent-child relationships, sibling relationships, peer relationships or couples. There is some form of positive reciprocal relationship. Both parties transmit and receive positive messages, meaning, interactions from each other over time.
Loving partners, parents, or people need to demonstrate their love for each other and accept and receive love sent their way. When couples come in for counseling I hear some people talk about not knowing that they are loved or card for or that they don’t feel the need to express their love or appreciation for the other person in the relationship. "Oh she knows I love her" or "I don't know if she loves me because I don't hear her say that to me". Sometimes parents are afraid to tell their teens or young adult children that they love them because they did not receive that message themselves from their parents. “We don't talk about emotions at home.” "They know I love them! After all I pay for their school or activities.” “ You should know that I love you if you don’t then something is wrong with you." Yes you do. You do need to express your love and feelings to those you wish to be close to. We all want to know that we are valued and loved. The number one reason relationships fail is because there is a lack of "love expression". People in healthy relationships express their love and appreciation for one another. Love can be sent and received in many ways. Whether you are a parent, a teen , a child, a senior, a lover or an adult, tell someone you care and love them. Love can be sent and received in many ways, from touch, to looks, words, gestures, deeds, tone of voice or service. Find your special way to express your love to the person you love. Ensure you love message is being heard and received. Ask your child, your teen, your parents, your partner 'Do they know that you love them?" See how they receive your message and change it if necessary so they do receive your loving message. In the next 20 years, over one million Canadians are expected to have some form of dementia. Research shows that many of those people will also experience significant sleep disruption. Disordered sleep (DS) in persons with dementia is one of the most common reasons for institutionalization. Disordered sleep has significant effects on cognition, falls, agitation, self-care, overall health and quality of life for seniors. Unfortunately there is a prevalent belief that both disordered sleep and dementia are part of the aging process. While we may see a prevalence of disordered sleep and dementia in seniors neither way is a normal part of the aging process. 73% of seniors who were awake during the night were sleepy or "napping" during the day showing they need to sleep. Seniors who experience sleep disruption are more likely to see an increase in their lack of mobility and an increase use of prescription of over the counter medications. Seniors who don't sleep at night are at risk of depression. 60 % of sleep deprived seniors suffer from depression.
If you are a senior or you know of a senior who suffers from nightly sleep disruption encourage them to see their health are provider and discuss this important issue. Disordered sleep is not part of the normal aging process. Surprisingly, researchers find, women report higher relationship satisfaction when they could read their partners’ anger or frustration than when they could identify their happiness. No, it’s not that women revel in their significant others’ distress; rather, it’s that women prefer negative emotions to withdrawal or silence.
"For women, seeing their husband or boyfriend upset is a reflection of their partner’s emotional engagement. When women see their male partners sharing their negative emotions, they see it as a sign of connection, openness and communication. Women don’t like it when men distance themselves during conflict,” states Dr. Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School. The lesson for today: Guys don't leave when the going gets tough. Your wife would sooner have you express your frustration and anger i a respectful way, then have you leave the conversation and not talk to her for days. It's OK to express negative emotions. Women still don't like the yelling and screaming but women would sooner know that you are upset instead of hiding in your man cave away from them. Most couples wait an average of 6- 7 years before seeking counseling when their relationship has staled. Unfortunately by that time, one partner may have already emotionally checked out of the relationship. This makes repairing the relationship more challenging but not yet impossible.
Why do couples wait so long? There are many reasons. Sometimes one person doesn't speak up for fear of hurting the other person. This happens often with men. Most men are taught to suppress their emotions and tough it out. Some of us are taught, “not to air our dirty laundry in public”. Sometimes cultural beliefs prevent people from reaching out for help “ Therapy is just for rich white people” or “ only really crazy people seek therapy”. Other times, there is fear and shame in having to admit you’ve maybe screwed up. Sometimes people take the attitude “it’s just a phase they’ll get over it or if I ignore the problem long enough it will go away”. And yes you’re right sometimes the problem will go away with the children and the furniture as well. If you are thinking that your marriage is in peril, talk to your partner. Speak up; suggest committing to couples’ counselling for at least 6 months. Expect that your partner won’t talk the news that your relationship is in jeopardy calmly. Give them time to digest what you just told them. Let them know they don’t have to answer right away and that you do want to talk about this again. Give your partner the respect they deserve to think about what you said and the ability to respond. Parents help you child calm their fears by creating a worry bag together. Listen to Parenting coach Pam Dyson explain what she puts into a worry bag and how these items can help kids up to 10 years old learn to cope with their anxiety. Her best tip.... Parents if you're anxious you need to get a grip on your anxiety!
Pam Dyson's favorite items are; 1) BUBBLES Blowing bubbles help children draw deep breathes in order to blow big bubbles. This is good for parents too. Who can be anxious with beautiful bubbles floating around? We know slow deep breathing calms us down. Slow, deep breathing utilizing the diaphragm and abdomen causes heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure to drop. Here's an easy bubble recipe. 2) NOTE PAD Children of all ages can draw or write out what causes them to be fearful or anxious. Putting your fears and worries on paper gets them out of your head and then they may not seem so bad or this gives parents a place to understand what their child is afraid of. 3) WORRY DOLLS Guatemalan children believe that if you tell one worry to each doll and put the dolls under your pillow, when you get up in the morning your worries are gone. You can create a worry doll from an old fashion cloths pin or buy them a set in Ottawa from stores like Ten Thousand Villages. 4) Pin Wheel Here's a dry alternative to bubbles. Blowing on a pin wheel help children draw deep breathes. Deep breathing stimulates our parasympathetic system which is responsible for relaxing. 5) Lavender Lotion Lavender is a natural way to stimulation calmness. Of course massaging your child's body helps to calm your child. Remember being present and close to your child can help your child to calm themselves. 6) Squeeze toy Squeezing a soft object helps your child to release tension. They may also find the repetitive motion soothing. 7) Practice, practice, practice. Remember your child needs your help and assistance to learn how to self sooth and calm themselves down. Take out the worry bag with them when they are not worried so they learn the skills they need when they are anxious. Over time with practice, your child will internalize these behaviours and may not need to pull out the worry bag in order to conquer there fears. Pam starts talking at about 1:44 into the segment. If there is anxiety in your home, call us today and talk to us about helping to calm down those fears. Sleep is essential for every human being. While scientists have figured out a lot about sleep, we still don’t understand everything there is to know about sleep. Every mammal, bird, reptile amphibians and fish require some sleep in order to function. Even plants need a restful dark period in order to produce blooms. Here are some sleep facts you may not have heard of….
1. When you sleep you’re brain recharges, your cells repair themselves, your body releases important hormones, your body temperature and heart rate decrease. You also need a period of sleep to consolidate your memories – this is one reason why cramming all-nighters for exams is a bad idea. 2. We all need different amount of sleep depending upon our ages Babies--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16 hours Children 3-12 yrs --------------------------------------- 10 hours Teens 13- 20 yrs ---------------------------------------- 10 hours Adults 21 - 65 yrs --------------------------------8 hours Seniors +65 yrs --------------------- 6 hours or less 3. Dreaming is an important part of sleep. Without dreams we don’t feel rested. Men have dreams about other men 70% of the time. Women dream equally about men and women. 12% of people dream only in black and white. 4. One in four couples sleep in separate beds. 5. Animals sleep different lengths. Kolas, brown bats, and pangolins sleep 18 to 22 hours a day. While giraffes, roe deer and Asiatic elephants sleep 1.9 to 3.1 hours a day. Giraffes sleep for only 5- 10 minute increments. Talk about a power nap! 6. Dolphins have an incredible brain. When they sleep, only half of their brain sleeps. The other half stays awake to monitor their breathing cycles. 7. Do blind people dream in colour? Well it depends on when they went blind. People who are born blind experience dreams involving their four senses, sounds, smell, touch and emotions. Those who went blind later in life still see images when they dream. 8. We remember our dreams most accurately just upon waking it up. If you want to remember your dreams remind yourself to do so before you go to sleep and night. Then in the morning quickly write down your dream as soon as you wake up. 5 minutes after waking up you’re already forgotten 50% of your dream. 10 minutes later its 90% disappeared. 9. We so desperately need our sleep. Sleep deprivation is harmful! It can lead to personally changes and negative health consequences. Changes can be seen within as little as 10 days. 10. Having trouble falling asleep? There is truth to having a warm glass of milk before bed. Consuming too much alcohol will interfere with a good night’s rest. Stop eating at least 3 hours before you sleep. Get the TV out of your bedroom à never give a child or teen a TV in their room. Prepare for sleep by starting to settle down and relaxing at least 30 minutes before you want to sleep. A cool room can help you get a better night‘s sleep. Black out curtains can help to keep light out which may prevent you from waking up too early. Sweet Dreams |
AuthorNataxja Cini is the founder of Family-Therapy.ca. She can be reached at Archives
March 2018
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