If you are a senior or you know of a senior who suffers from nightly sleep disruption encourage them to see their health are provider and discuss this important issue. Disordered sleep is not part of the normal aging process.
In the next 20 years, over one million Canadians are expected to have some form of dementia. Research shows that many of those people will also experience significant sleep disruption. Disordered sleep (DS) in persons with dementia is one of the most common reasons for institutionalization. Disordered sleep has significant effects on cognition, falls, agitation, self-care, overall health and quality of life for seniors. Unfortunately there is a prevalent belief that both disordered sleep and dementia are part of the aging process. While we may see a prevalence of disordered sleep and dementia in seniors neither way is a normal part of the aging process. 73% of seniors who were awake during the night were sleepy or "napping" during the day showing they need to sleep. Seniors who experience sleep disruption are more likely to see an increase in their lack of mobility and an increase use of prescription of over the counter medications. Seniors who don't sleep at night are at risk of depression. 60 % of sleep deprived seniors suffer from depression.
If you are a senior or you know of a senior who suffers from nightly sleep disruption encourage them to see their health are provider and discuss this important issue. Disordered sleep is not part of the normal aging process.
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Surprisingly, researchers find, women report higher relationship satisfaction when they could read their partners’ anger or frustration than when they could identify their happiness. No, it’s not that women revel in their significant others’ distress; rather, it’s that women prefer negative emotions to withdrawal or silence.
"For women, seeing their husband or boyfriend upset is a reflection of their partner’s emotional engagement. When women see their male partners sharing their negative emotions, they see it as a sign of connection, openness and communication. Women don’t like it when men distance themselves during conflict,” states Dr. Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School. The lesson for today: Guys don't leave when the going gets tough. Your wife would sooner have you express your frustration and anger i a respectful way, then have you leave the conversation and not talk to her for days. It's OK to express negative emotions. Women still don't like the yelling and screaming but women would sooner know that you are upset instead of hiding in your man cave away from them. Most couples wait an average of 6- 7 years before seeking counseling when their relationship has staled. Unfortunately by that time, one partner may have already emotionally checked out of the relationship. This makes repairing the relationship more challenging but not yet impossible.
Why do couples wait so long? There are many reasons. Sometimes one person doesn't speak up for fear of hurting the other person. This happens often with men. Most men are taught to suppress their emotions and tough it out. Some of us are taught, “not to air our dirty laundry in public”. Sometimes cultural beliefs prevent people from reaching out for help “ Therapy is just for rich white people” or “ only really crazy people seek therapy”. Other times, there is fear and shame in having to admit you’ve maybe screwed up. Sometimes people take the attitude “it’s just a phase they’ll get over it or if I ignore the problem long enough it will go away”. And yes you’re right sometimes the problem will go away with the children and the furniture as well. If you are thinking that your marriage is in peril, talk to your partner. Speak up; suggest committing to couples’ counselling for at least 6 months. Expect that your partner won’t talk the news that your relationship is in jeopardy calmly. Give them time to digest what you just told them. Let them know they don’t have to answer right away and that you do want to talk about this again. Give your partner the respect they deserve to think about what you said and the ability to respond. Parents help you child calm their fears by creating a worry bag together. Listen to Parenting coach Pam Dyson explain what she puts into a worry bag and how these items can help kids up to 10 years old learn to cope with their anxiety. Her best tip.... Parents if you're anxious you need to get a grip on your anxiety!
Pam Dyson's favorite items are; 1) BUBBLES Blowing bubbles help children draw deep breathes in order to blow big bubbles. This is good for parents too. Who can be anxious with beautiful bubbles floating around? We know slow deep breathing calms us down. Slow, deep breathing utilizing the diaphragm and abdomen causes heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure to drop. Here's an easy bubble recipe. 2) NOTE PAD Children of all ages can draw or write out what causes them to be fearful or anxious. Putting your fears and worries on paper gets them out of your head and then they may not seem so bad or this gives parents a place to understand what their child is afraid of. 3) WORRY DOLLS Guatemalan children believe that if you tell one worry to each doll and put the dolls under your pillow, when you get up in the morning your worries are gone. You can create a worry doll from an old fashion cloths pin or buy them a set in Ottawa from stores like Ten Thousand Villages. 4) Pin Wheel Here's a dry alternative to bubbles. Blowing on a pin wheel help children draw deep breathes. Deep breathing stimulates our parasympathetic system which is responsible for relaxing. 5) Lavender Lotion Lavender is a natural way to stimulation calmness. Of course massaging your child's body helps to calm your child. Remember being present and close to your child can help your child to calm themselves. 6) Squeeze toy Squeezing a soft object helps your child to release tension. They may also find the repetitive motion soothing. 7) Practice, practice, practice. Remember your child needs your help and assistance to learn how to self sooth and calm themselves down. Take out the worry bag with them when they are not worried so they learn the skills they need when they are anxious. Over time with practice, your child will internalize these behaviours and may not need to pull out the worry bag in order to conquer there fears. Pam starts talking at about 1:44 into the segment. If there is anxiety in your home, call us today and talk to us about helping to calm down those fears. Sleep is essential for every human being. While scientists have figured out a lot about sleep, we still don’t understand everything there is to know about sleep. Every mammal, bird, reptile amphibians and fish require some sleep in order to function. Even plants need a restful dark period in order to produce blooms. Here are some sleep facts you may not have heard of….
1. When you sleep you’re brain recharges, your cells repair themselves, your body releases important hormones, your body temperature and heart rate decrease. You also need a period of sleep to consolidate your memories – this is one reason why cramming all-nighters for exams is a bad idea. 2. We all need different amount of sleep depending upon our ages Babies--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16 hours Children 3-12 yrs --------------------------------------- 10 hours Teens 13- 20 yrs ---------------------------------------- 10 hours Adults 21 - 65 yrs --------------------------------8 hours Seniors +65 yrs --------------------- 6 hours or less 3. Dreaming is an important part of sleep. Without dreams we don’t feel rested. Men have dreams about other men 70% of the time. Women dream equally about men and women. 12% of people dream only in black and white. 4. One in four couples sleep in separate beds. 5. Animals sleep different lengths. Kolas, brown bats, and pangolins sleep 18 to 22 hours a day. While giraffes, roe deer and Asiatic elephants sleep 1.9 to 3.1 hours a day. Giraffes sleep for only 5- 10 minute increments. Talk about a power nap! 6. Dolphins have an incredible brain. When they sleep, only half of their brain sleeps. The other half stays awake to monitor their breathing cycles. 7. Do blind people dream in colour? Well it depends on when they went blind. People who are born blind experience dreams involving their four senses, sounds, smell, touch and emotions. Those who went blind later in life still see images when they dream. 8. We remember our dreams most accurately just upon waking it up. If you want to remember your dreams remind yourself to do so before you go to sleep and night. Then in the morning quickly write down your dream as soon as you wake up. 5 minutes after waking up you’re already forgotten 50% of your dream. 10 minutes later its 90% disappeared. 9. We so desperately need our sleep. Sleep deprivation is harmful! It can lead to personally changes and negative health consequences. Changes can be seen within as little as 10 days. 10. Having trouble falling asleep? There is truth to having a warm glass of milk before bed. Consuming too much alcohol will interfere with a good night’s rest. Stop eating at least 3 hours before you sleep. Get the TV out of your bedroom à never give a child or teen a TV in their room. Prepare for sleep by starting to settle down and relaxing at least 30 minutes before you want to sleep. A cool room can help you get a better night‘s sleep. Black out curtains can help to keep light out which may prevent you from waking up too early. Sweet Dreams People expect us to be busy, overworked. It’s become a status symbol in our society – if we’re busy, we are important; if we’re not busy, we’re almost embarrassed to admit it. Busyness is where we get our security. It’s validating, popular, and pleasing. It’s also a good excuse for not dealing with the first things in our lives.” (Covey et. al, 1994)."
I found this to be an interesting quote. Sometimes we need to really examine why we need to be so busy. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy to avoid the emptiness in our lives. Other times, we've been "trained" from an early age that slowing down and taking time for ourselves is called "laziness". What is it about being still that makes people uncomfortable? A quick internet searched revealed topics such as "How to handle a break up by keeping busy" or "How to keep busy between jobs". It seems that keeping yourself busy can be a way to avoid your emotions. But why do we need to keep busy to avoid our emotions? Negative emotions while unpleasant are a normal part of life. And yes while break ups are unpleasant it is an opportunity for self reflection and personal growth. The second article seemed to suggest that we only value those who are productive. And people must remain productive at all costs. But sometimes the reality is there are no jobs between the jobs you really want. Stephen Covey really hits the nail on the head when he states being busy has "become a status symbol in our society." We need to step back and assess what is really important to us. Are you really important because you stay busy? How do people value you.... for who you are? Or for what you do for them? There is a significant difference between being valued because you DO things for others versus being valued for YOU as a PERSON. Take the time to sit back and examine your life. Are you busy all the time? What exactly are you doing which keeps you busy? Are you busy because there are many activities or events you choose to do for your own pleasure? Or are you busy because this is expected or demanded from you? Maybe it's time to sit back and watch the merry go round go by? |
AuthorNataxja Cini is the founder of Family-Therapy.ca. She can be reached at Archives
March 2018
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