If you have recently discovered your partner is having and affair you know how painful and devastating the news was to you. In one brief moment your whole world has come crushing down on you. You can’t breathe, you can’t think, you don’t know what to do. You experience intense painful emotions.
Currently 20% of men and 10% of women are involved in a sexual affair. The numbers are even higher when we look at emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are when you just talk and share your secrets, your pain, your worries, and hopes more with someone else besides your spouse. Nearly 25% of all women and 45% are involved or have been involved in an emotional affair. Unfortunately the results can still be the same. Loss of trust, loss of intimacy, loss of hope, and loss of family. But affairs do not have to mean divorce.
This may be the most difficult time and place in your life and your marriage. Before you make quick decisions take the time to soothe yourself. You may need to ask your partner to give you the space to try to digest what you just heard. You may need some space to clear your head and regain your balance.
Once you are aware of the affair, action needs to take place. The affair needs to end. There should be no more communication between spouse and their lover. Expect your partner to go through the pangs of withdrawal. While you do not have to be overly sympathetic towards them. This will happen and can be very painful for both of you. It is difficult to repair an injured relationship. It’s impossible to repair an injured relationship if the lover is still present.
Once the affair has ended and there is no more communication with the third party, you and your partner need to start the conversation “Where do we want to go from here?” Are you both committed to rebuilding your relationship? Are you both prepared to put in the time, emotions, and energy it takes to build a strong emotionally secure relationship with each other?
You can move forward after an affair. This is the opportunity to explore what needs to be reestablished in your relationship, how you want your partner to view you, respect you and what is missing from your relationship. There is work to be done by both partners in recreating this relationship together.
Currently 20% of men and 10% of women are involved in a sexual affair. The numbers are even higher when we look at emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are when you just talk and share your secrets, your pain, your worries, and hopes more with someone else besides your spouse. Nearly 25% of all women and 45% are involved or have been involved in an emotional affair. Unfortunately the results can still be the same. Loss of trust, loss of intimacy, loss of hope, and loss of family. But affairs do not have to mean divorce.
This may be the most difficult time and place in your life and your marriage. Before you make quick decisions take the time to soothe yourself. You may need to ask your partner to give you the space to try to digest what you just heard. You may need some space to clear your head and regain your balance.
Once you are aware of the affair, action needs to take place. The affair needs to end. There should be no more communication between spouse and their lover. Expect your partner to go through the pangs of withdrawal. While you do not have to be overly sympathetic towards them. This will happen and can be very painful for both of you. It is difficult to repair an injured relationship. It’s impossible to repair an injured relationship if the lover is still present.
Once the affair has ended and there is no more communication with the third party, you and your partner need to start the conversation “Where do we want to go from here?” Are you both committed to rebuilding your relationship? Are you both prepared to put in the time, emotions, and energy it takes to build a strong emotionally secure relationship with each other?
You can move forward after an affair. This is the opportunity to explore what needs to be reestablished in your relationship, how you want your partner to view you, respect you and what is missing from your relationship. There is work to be done by both partners in recreating this relationship together.
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