6) Communicate directly with your ex-spouse. While it may be difficult to have to talk with someone you’re upset with passing messages through your children harms them. No child wants to be the messenger for Mom or Dad. Avoid putting your children in the middle of your fights, or making them feel like they have to choose between you. If it’s difficult to be civil when speaking to your ex agree to leave voice messages, text messages or emails to exchange important information regarding your children. Do not withhold important or urgent information from the other parent. In the end, this makes you look foolish and only creates more hostility between the two of you.
7) Don’t ask your child what is happening at Mom or Dad’s house. This causes your child to feel he or she needs to choose sides. Children will be resentful of you if they feel they need to provide you with a report of what the other parent is doing.
8) Allow the other parent to still be your child’s parent even after you have divorced and are living separate lives. Children need to know they are still loved by both parents and they are not the cause of the divorce. Even if it’s painful to encounter your ex at parent teacher interviews or sporting events, take the high ground and remember your child needs both parents to be involved in his or her life.
9) Find ways to manage your own stress. Getting divorced is never quick and easy. Your children need you to provide them with support as they go through this difficult transition. Make sure to take time for yourself. This could means simple things like taking a bath after the children are in bed, exercising, talking with your friends, or listening to your favorite music. Seek out your friends or a divorce support group for support or to express your emotions. You should never turn to your children to discuss your marital difficulties even if they offer you support.
10) Seek professional help when needed. It’s not easy to overcome your sense of loss or your children’s loss when there is a divorce. It will take some time for your kids to work through their issues about the separation or divorce. If things get worse rather than better after several months, it may be time to seek professional help for yourself and your children. Professional help may be warranted if you or your children are experiencing difficulty sleeping, withdrawal from favorite activities, inability to concentrate, frequent angry outbursts or bouts of crying months after the divorce. Keep your children’s teachers informed of your divorce so they can keep an eye out for unusual behaviour and may be able to offer your child support at school.
7) Don’t ask your child what is happening at Mom or Dad’s house. This causes your child to feel he or she needs to choose sides. Children will be resentful of you if they feel they need to provide you with a report of what the other parent is doing.
8) Allow the other parent to still be your child’s parent even after you have divorced and are living separate lives. Children need to know they are still loved by both parents and they are not the cause of the divorce. Even if it’s painful to encounter your ex at parent teacher interviews or sporting events, take the high ground and remember your child needs both parents to be involved in his or her life.
9) Find ways to manage your own stress. Getting divorced is never quick and easy. Your children need you to provide them with support as they go through this difficult transition. Make sure to take time for yourself. This could means simple things like taking a bath after the children are in bed, exercising, talking with your friends, or listening to your favorite music. Seek out your friends or a divorce support group for support or to express your emotions. You should never turn to your children to discuss your marital difficulties even if they offer you support.
10) Seek professional help when needed. It’s not easy to overcome your sense of loss or your children’s loss when there is a divorce. It will take some time for your kids to work through their issues about the separation or divorce. If things get worse rather than better after several months, it may be time to seek professional help for yourself and your children. Professional help may be warranted if you or your children are experiencing difficulty sleeping, withdrawal from favorite activities, inability to concentrate, frequent angry outbursts or bouts of crying months after the divorce. Keep your children’s teachers informed of your divorce so they can keep an eye out for unusual behaviour and may be able to offer your child support at school.
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